It's been a long while since I've posted on here but I realised my latest project relates strongly to this blog's themes. With the ascendance of artificial intelligence since Chat GPT-4 started an arms race, I've decided to add my voice for a healthy AI future. I've been exploring AI applications to amplify the themes of 'The A.I. Dilemma' presentation by Tristan Harris and Aza Raskin. I've found their work for The Center of Humane Technology to be the most accessible and thoughtful, it's a great gateway to AI literacy.
My current project is @theAIdilemma on Instagram and Twitter|X. In it you'll find editorial illustrations, excerpted media quotes and commentary suggesting a path for a humane tech future.
Being a dilettante I've always wondered about motivations. I know I'm a fan of novelty, it's why I enjoy travel and have skimmed through several hobbies. I've dabbled with parkour, BJJ and dragon boat racing among others.
Most recently I've been big into board games. A component of that scene is perpetually trying out new games. I know almost immediately whether I'll enjoy a game in the first few stages of play. I don't find worker placement (aka action drafting) as engaging as social deduction (aka bluffing) games. I struggle, as it's about finding value in amassing wealth and resources. Simulating something I'm already at odds with inside a game only sets off an existential crisis. Deception games on the other hand play into my fascination with social interaction and charisma. The imperative to survive and not lose face in front of friends and strangers is a compelling one. As a fan of politics and pro-wrestling and an avid watcher of 'Survivor', this genre has given me a taste of that world in a fun setting.
I have a preference for casual games and was starting to wonder why. I realised that if I could ascertain what it was I liked in board games, I could better understand my wiring and in turn inform my approach to career and other pursuits. 'Game Frame' by Aaron Dignan illuminates the appeal of games through behavioural psychology. Here he explains the two conditions we face when embarking on a new challenge:
'Game Frame' by Aaron Dignan
Game Frame Using: Games as a Strategy for Success Lack of Volition. Volition is the will to do something; the motivation and internal drive to see it through. Any kind of proactive or ambitious behavior is evidence of strong volition. People who lack volition feel lost, bored, or disconnected from the task at hand. They can't see why an activity or behavior is worthwhile. A lack of volition is defined by disinterest, low involvement, and arrested development. An individual lacking volition says, "I'm not going to do that. Why would I? What's in it for me?"
Lack of Faculty. Faculty is the belief that we have the skills and tools to handle the challenges we're facing; that we know how to begin and have the confidence to pursue our goals. People who lack faculty in a particular situation may feel that it's too hard, or that it's unclear what they need to do to succeed. A lack of faculty is defined by anxiety, submission, and ultimately, despair. An individual lacking faculty says, "I can't do this. I'm not prepared. I don't know how."
Its a straightforward summation of the dichotomy we face when trying something new. Hitting the point home with a Joseph Campbell reference, Dignan illustrates the edge games have over ordinary life.
One of the reasons we love games is because they instantly place us on our own hero's journey, and from the comfort (and safety) of our living room. There's something tremendously satisfying about playing out an archetypal struggle in which each of us, for the duration of the game at least, is the chosen one. Unlike so many other settings where seemingly meaningless and repetitive tasks frustrate us, in games we are at one with our story... Being part of a story, and one in which we know we're expected to prevail, plays to our sense of volition and faculty beautifully. We come to desire the victory that story presupposes, and we simply must find a way to win.
This blog is on the analogy that Life is one big video game, that we do live in the "Matrix". It seems through board games I've just found an analog version of the simulation echo.
Some of my oldest band tees include a shirt from 'The Get Up Kids', picked up at the second gig I ever went to and a Pinkerton 'Weezer' shirt. Craig Schuftan in his book detailing the hidden roots of rock and roll, references both bands to describe why some unwittingly remain alone.
Hey, Nietzsche! Leave them kids alone: The Romantic movement, rock and roll, and the end of civilisation as we know it
In 'Why Bother?' the singer thinks about finding a girlfriend, but finds insufficient grounds for action. It's like a super-pessimistic version of Wham!'s 'Last Christmas'. Before he's even picked up the phone he's reasoned his way to the following summer, when she'll no doubt dump him and break his heart. So he remains alone. The singer has proved his intelligence while ensuring that he remains miserable. This line of thinking leads to greater and greater inertia -- taken to its logical conclusion, the singer must renounce the search for happiness entirely and derive whatever kicks he can from monkish self-denial...
The Get Up Kids are one of the scores of bands who followed the example of Pinkerton, exploring the lonely landscape Weezer had discovered long after Cuomo himself had moved on. In the Get Up Kids' 'I'm a Loner, Dottie, a Rebel', the hero tells us that last night he was in love, and that the possibility is still there. But sitting by the girl's bedside in the morning, he reasons his way out of whatever future they might have together. 'I'm afraid to try,' he admits, 'I'll keep my hands by my side.' A real man, a natural man (a jock, a Limp Bizkit fan) would do something. But for the Get Up Kids and their fans, this kind of 'action' is deeply suspect... the heroes of the scene tend to be of the static, intellectual type.
Morrissey, in his songs, demands the right to be miserable and alone. This doesn't sound like too much to ask -- but the world keeps telling him he has to cheer up and get over it... And since he steadfastly refuses to do this, his position has, over the years, become more and more entrenched. What started out as a polite request has turned into a war of attrition... The world has refused to accept his personality. No wonder he's determined not to give up the fight. In this war, what's at stake is nothing less than the human soul.
PODCAST: WTF with Marc Maron Podcast: Episode 623 - Jason Segel
Actor Jason Segel in conversation with Comedian Marc Maron discusses the persistent feeling of discontent even when things are going as good as they could be. Particularly poignant as Jason quietly battled alcoholism whilst seemingly hitting his stride in Hollywood. Similarly Marc Maron built a career as a comic's comic who never found mainstream success. The early episodes of his now seminal WTF podcast highlighting his struggle with having close "famous" friends, craving recognition whilst having a perpetually peripheral experience of success. Over 300+ episodes it has tracked Marc's conversion from frustrated marginal genius to arguably the Godfather of modern comedy, recently being the first to record a full podcast with a sitting American President.
Jason Segel describes the affinity he shared with author David Foster Wallace who he plays in his latest movie 'End of the Tour' (2015), as well as the interviewer he plays against David Lipsky as embodied by Jesse Eisenberg.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast: Episode 623 - Jason Segel
SEGEL: The themes of the movie really resonated with me. Its a lot about what we're talking about, outside the comedy about actually being the person. What happens when things are going as well as they possibly can and you still feel the same? This movie ['The End of the Tour'] takes place over the last 4 days, its about David Foster Wallace. Its the last 4 days of the 'Infinite Jest' book tour, its called the voice of a generation, it came out and did as well it could do. He didn't feel better...
VIDEO: 'The End of the Tour' trailer (2015)
On what we're looking for
JESSE EISENBERG: (1h 06m 25s) That was the lens I saw it through, a guy talking to himself on the beginning end of a tunnel. Lipsky is looking up at David Foster Wallace saying "God it must be great to be you? You must feel great? You must feel terrific? What's it like to be so famous?" and David Foster Wallace looking back at him saying "Kid, be careful what you wish for. If you get to where I am you're not going to feel better
MARC MARON: And that's sad
SEGEL: Yeah its sad but its very real and I actually think that one of the reasons David Foster Wallace resonates with people is that he's a man who had the vocabulary to express something that we all feel and maybe are too scared to talk about openly
MARON: Which is? The existential loneliness that persists
SEGEL: Yeeeeah, you're promised by our culture that if you achieve X, Y or Z of if you obtain X, Y or Z or watch this marathon of 'Real Housewives' that you're going to feel better and it turns out that its not true and people are really operating on that assumption and get to that destination and find out its vacant
MARON: But its rare that a person can investigate that loneliness like he did, sadly most people percolate along with a mild feeling of dissatisfaction and anxiety that they can't pinpoint but he decided to explore the underpinnings of existence in relation to these expectations and the onslaught of sensations available
On Life imitating art
MARC MARON: (1h) ... This character, how close to your experience was it?
JASON SEGEL: At this point in my life, it felt like kismet... I had gotten sober 2 and a half years ago. I'm a year and a half sober at that point, my TV show was coming to an end and I was in a real moment of "What do I do now?". There's a line in the movie that is kinda verbatim from what David Foster Wallace said in this interview - "I have to face the reality now of being 34 years old alone in a room with a piece of paper" and that's what I felt at this point. My safety net was gone. The fact I had a financial safety net didn't really apply to what I felt.
MARON: It doesn't, does it?
SEGEL: No, of course not. Well not "of course not". I suppose from looking outside of it you would think "Of course it does".
MARON: It actually makes it [worse], for a lot of people "What are you complaining about?". But the truth of the matter is, the sad thing when you're in that position is that you do have that and you have these feelings and they're almost compounded. Then you're like "WTF is wrong with me? I can eat wherever I want and I can buy that car if I want to".
SEGEL: This is what the movie is to me, in my opinion. What the movie is, its basically a transcript of this interview that a guy called David Lipsky did with David Foster Wallace where 'Rolling Stone' sent him out to spend the last 4 days of the book tour with him.
MARON: What I noticed about this movie in retrospect is, who is this movie really about?...
SEGEL: I actually think its about a feeling that if you treat yourself (and listen to a speech that David Foster Wallace gave called 'This is Water', its a Kenyon Commencement Speech). It is addressing the exact thing we're talking about in this interview which is Where do you place your value and what is going to address this itch that we keep trying to scratch that's telling us we're not there? That we're not enough. If its success, you'll never be successful enough. If its money, you'll never have enough money. If its talent, you'll never be adored enough. You have to find something else and I just really related to that.
We all go through it no matter how big you are
SEGEL: (1h 17m 30s) No matter how well you're doing, you're going to have feelings about not being enough. You're going to have feelings of dissatisfaction and its tough to find people to talk about that with if, People are all the same if you basically sound like you're whining.
MARON: Or you're seen as the guy who should have everything. You have to have real friends is basically what it is.
SEGEL: Its codified in myth since the beginning of time, this is a Universal feeling. The King feels the same way
MARON: And who's going to feel bad for the king? F*ck that guy. He's the King!
As we approached the man who was about to slap us with green wristbands, security muttered something to him. "What did he say?" my friend asked. We both thought it might have been "border". Maybe it was "water" I wondered, our other friend did get asked to confiscate her bottle. We carried on into the gig as the second support played their last few songs.
We sensed the wristbands meant the show was All-ages. As the room filled there was a dawning realisation the crowd were overwhelmingly kids. The band we came to see were 'Gang of Youths' so we were genuinely pleased by the poetry of being encircled by just that. I spotted a teenager next to me wearing a 'Freaks and Geeks shirt and smirked at how sophisticated her taste was. I drafted my optimal dating profile: I taped every episode of 'Freaks and Geeks'**.
It proudly tipped my age and cool, being borderline smug about it. I asked her where she got it from, I figured it'd be homemade. She got it at a Comic convention.
A short curly-haired girl with a 3-panel cap walked by, I thought to myself "these kids are reeeeeally cool". But I meant it in a patronising, threatened way. A few beats after passing us, my friend whipped towards me and we locked eyes. "Wait! Did you just give me that look cuz that girl was strikingly cool?". She nodded.
I started thinking about my age. I imagined that this would be a terrible place to be high, I'd be paranoid I was swarmed by adolescents with judging eyes. I relayed these concerns, my friend remarked "It's already happening".
That morning I had listened to a podcast where Director Harmony Korine talked about his feelings towards his landmark movie 'Kids' (1995) 20 years on. It was basically checking in on a punk teen once you aged them with life.
VIDEO: 'Greenberg' (2010) party scene
The kids are all right but those around me didn't seem to have the reckless innocence of that classic coming-of-age movie. Kids be 'Juno' (2007) now. They knew too much or at least more than me at that age.
That's what I felt at that moment, like Greenberg at the party. When Ben Stiller's 40 year old character admonished the kids - "You're so sincere and interested in things. There's a confidence in you guys that's horrifying". This was tonight's theme.
VIDEO: 'Greenberg' Official Trailer
I came to the show because my good friend insisted but I didn't really know the band. I
knew a few songs from the radio, I didn't expect to get hit by this sudden identity crisis but it was cool nonetheless. I spent the first half of the gig drafting everything you're reading now in my head.
Then they played this song and I lost my shit.
VIDEO: Gang of Youths cover LCD Soundsystem
'All My Friends' for Like A Version
Gang of Youths did a Like a Version for LCD Soundsystem's 'All my friends'. I knew it only as the song that scored the trailer for 'Greenberg', one of my favorite movies. Now it underscored everything.
A few songs before I had realised what might have been said as we came into the venue. The bouncer had just carded us and he was giving the OK to his colleague giving out wristbands for the Bar - "Older" he was saying assuringly.
** Channel 9 aired 'Freaks and Geeks' in 1999. I saw Samm Levine on the Martin Short show and was charmed by him, he plays Neal on 'Freaks and Geeks'. From that daytime appearance I decided to tape the Pilot airing soon after.
Comedian Pete Holmes talks to writer Ali Waller about our Adventurous selves vs our Cautious selves
'You Made it Weird' with Pete Holmes: Episode 268 - Ali Waller
ALI WALLER: (19m 20s) I think its always better to have the experience, have the relationship, make the weird mistake than to not. Even though I suffer for that. "Why did I ask that person out, he wasn't into me"...
PETE HOLMES: You're looking like, there's two us-es. There are so many us-es I feel like. There's that guy who's like "I'm gonna talk to strangers on a plane!"
WALLER: That guy.
HOLMES: I can't be that guy. Very, very rarely. Every once in a while I'm in that place where I feel like talking to people. I feel like meeting people. I feel like being my best self. I feel like helping people be their best self and what I try to do is make plans when I'm him and hope that he shows up again when the plan is happening but sometimes its not him and its the other guy...
and further on - 'will'
PETE HOLMES: (35m 05s) I'm fascinated with manufacturing will, like if you could sell a will pill. A pill that could give you the will to do things. I think that's what we're really after... and that's one of the big struggles of life...
Notebooks, books. Certainly for me books. The potential to do something, we love these investments in this pretend future
As always when this line of thinking gets brought up on YMIW, Woody Allen's 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' (2008) gets a mention. Vicky (Rebecca Hall) as our reserved self and Cristina (Scarlett Johansson) representing our impulsive alter ego.
Henry Rollins explains to not-so-adventurous Pete how he travels and why he enjoys it:
'You Made it Weird' with Pete Holmes: Episode 243 - Henry Rollins
HENRY ROLLINS: (1h 43m 20s)... You'll be introduced but you wait. You don't go (gregariously) "Hey I'm Henry" . You don't mean any harm and they know you don't but [they'd think] "It's really not how it rolls here". So just know where you are.
And talk to the men "Hey what are you doing?" and if they speak some [English] they'll bend over backwards to show you what they're doing. And I've been invited to homes for tea and fruit and coffee and met the kids who thought the tattoos were hilarious and I've done this all over the world with great success cause I lead with my curiosity not with my (obnoxiously) "I'm gonna go here cuz I'm a tough guy". Cause I'm not. I'm not a tough guy nor am I brave. I'm neither, I'm just curious. And if you get your head cut off in one of these places well that's how that went. At least you died doing what you wanted instead of people who spend many years in a place that they don't like but they kind of learn to accept the gut punch that the job gives them and they tough it out. And one day I'm gonna retire.
So you're basically living for the cessation of the work but not the work itself?... I have found that a lot of people as [Black] Sabbath used to say "Kill themselves to live" and so if I get slaughtered in one of these places with death by misadventure. I don't wanna. I'm not looking to get hurt like that but if it happens.
Eh! Was it worth it? Yeah, definitely. I definitely would rather die on the streets of "name the place" cause I shouldn't have gone there than...
VIDEO: Tim And Eric, It's Not Jackie Chan (Original)
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast: Episode 536 - Tim and Eric
MARC MARON: (23m) It was essentially that. It was the lameness that was hilarious. Intentional lameness.
TIM HEIDECKER: Intentional stupidity that you have to be on the same page with the idea that I'm not really suggesting that as a name
MARON: Of course and he got that immediately and history is made
HEIDECKER: Irony, that's the word. You all have to be on the same page that we're all f*cked and most things are garbage. Most products, whether its movies or TV shows or books are mostly garbage and mostly patronising to us
I've been in trouble the last few weeks with group emails. You create a shorthand with people where there's an understood context in how to interpret each other. You take things with a grain of salt and don't accept everything at face value. It's an invisible language between friends.
When you expand the circle like you do with group emails, sometimes it gets lost. The two people who seem most at odds get the code but everyone else takes it seriously. The tone shifts, it gets weird.
An aging Kevin Garnett VS Charlotte's Cody Zeller.
What does champion NBA power forward Kevin Garnett have to do with influential thinker Martin Heidegger? Authors Daniel M. Klein and Thomas Cathcart in their humorous book on the philosophy of death finds a way to explain Heidegger's often complicated ideas via a basketball analogy
Ch 4. Heideggerty-Dog, Ziggity-Boom, What You Do to Me
Look at it this way: Say you're Kevin Garnett and this is Game 7 of the NBA Finals. You're going to play with way more intensity, way more energy, way more life, than in one of those dreary Thursday night midseason games in Charlotte. Heidegger called the latter "everydayness," and he put it down as the ultimate drag. So let's face it squarely, Daryl, this -- right here, right now -- is Game 7 of the Finals, and what a joy it is to be here!
For Heidegger, the worst possible news would be that our souls are immortal. That would condemn us to a never-ending string of those Thursday night games in Charlotte.
My only quibble is the use of Garnett for the example. He's arguably the most consistent and unfailingly intense player currently in the L.
'You Made It Weird' with Pete Holmes: Episode195 - Ari Voukydis
PETE HOLMES: (4m 40s) Sometimes people hate things or have a negative reaction to things because they're threatened by them... I realise once I said that it's kinda obvious. I was talking to my brother last night and he was talking about how he hates 'Breaking Bad'. I was like "Have you seen it?" and he was like "No". He's seen one or two episodes out of order. And in a loving way I was telling him how full of sh!t he is for -- Not because of Breaking Bad, you don't have to like Breaking Bad but -- the great thing about my brother is that he heard me. He wasn't just like "F*ck you", he's my older brother. He doesn't need to listen to this sh!t
What is it about Breaking Bad that you hate? Is it that everyone loves it and you like missed the train? You didn't watch it. You're left out. Does it represent loneliness and isolation. Because I feel that way sometimes about [Downton] Abbey... He also said "F*ck American Hustle!". So I said "You saw it?" and he said "No".
JOHN F. O'DONNELL: He just sounds like he's being curmudgeonly.
HOLMES: That's the worst thing you can do because I love my brother so I say "You're full of sh!t". To let it go is to abandon them which is kind of what I've done with my parents. It's beyond hope so you let it go. But with my brother it's like don't hate Bradley Cooper he was great in 'The Place Beyond the Pines'
I've listened to 'WTF with Marc Maron' since its inception, I recall episode 67 with Robin Williams being quite the breakthrough. It was one of the first episodes to get wider press attention and had an illustrated graphic to accompany it. It was also notable personally as it was the first time I began to realise the power of the podcast format to reveal a person't truth and a public figure's hidden humanity. Many articles have since been written about the dour nature of the Comedian Podcast, revealing uncomfortable truths underneath the laughs. Like good standup, these podcasts are therapeutic, raw and engaging. The Sad clown in the therapists's chair or in this case a fellow Comedian's Garage.
Robin Williams on the breakthrough WTF episode
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast: Episode 67 - Robin Williams transcript
MARC MARON: (52m) You don't seem to me like someone who is morbidly fascinated or hung up on death?
ROBIN WILLIAMS: No that's weird. When I was drinking there was only one time, even for a moment where I thought "F*ck life". And I went like, then even my conscious brain went like "Did you honestly just say "F*ck life". You know you have a pretty good life as it is right now. Have you noticed the two houses? Yes. Have you noticed the girlfriend? Yes. Have you noticed that things are pretty good even though you're not working right now? Yes. Let's put the suicide over here and discuss it. Let's put that in the discussion area.
First of all you don't have the balls to do it. I'm not going to say it out loud. Have you thought about buying a gun? No. What were you going to do, cut your wrist with a water pick? Maybe...
Can I put that here in the "What the F*ck!" Category. Can I ask you what you're doing right now? You're sitting in a hotel room with a bottle of Jack Daniels. Is this maybe influencing your decision? Possibly.
OK. And who's that in the bed over there? I don't know. Well don't discuss that with her cuz she may tweet it. This may not be good... let's put that over here. We can talk about that in therapy or maybe a podcast two years from now. You wanna talk about it in a podcast? No I feel safe. You're talking about it in a podcast. Who is this? It's your conscience Asshole. Oh ok...
MARON: That was a nice interval
WILLIAMS: Discussions of death, its very freeing Thank You.
MARON: It's a little, you know you've had all this stuff and there's a certain degree of - It doesn't matter
WILLIAMS: Big time!
MARON: It doesn't matter.
Suicide and crisis support If you are in an emergency, or at immediate risk of harm to yourself or others, please contact emergency services on 000.
To talk to someone now call
Lifeline 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
Director Richard Linklater describes 'Boyhood' (2014) as a meditation on "Growing up, its about time passing and life going on". Linklater is adept at incorporating grand existential themes in his films. As the movie was shot and written over the span of 12 years, it reflects the malaise and meandering we have through the passage of time. Like any good narrative the viewer remains uncertain as to how it will develop or end, the unconventional filmmaking process making the stakes higher. This is reflected in Grantland's 'Straight to Video' review of the film
CHRIS CONNELLY: (4m 21s) He, I feel hasn't settled into a rhythm yet because he doesn't know where the story is going and that's the thing that's so interesting. So big things can't happen in quite the same way we expect from a movie because he's remaining open - Rick is - to what's gonna happen next in these kid's lives.
Without spoiling the movie, 'BoyHood' closes with several beats which might have constituted an "ending" had they been handled by another Writer/Director. In keeping with the theme of time passing and mirroring life itself Linklater chooses an unassuming scene to ultimately punctuate a narrative told with such moments.
I'm currently in the process of reading two books, 'Outliers' by Malcolm Gladwell and 'Everything is Obvious' by Duncan J. Watts. I was surprised through the course of reading both that they contradicted each other. Duncan cautions against Post Hoc fallacies, not to be misled by conclusions drawn after the fact. In 'Chapter 5: History, the Fickle Teacher' with subheadings like "History cannot be told while it's happening" and "Whoever tells the best story wins" he describes the difficulty in evaluating something as ephemeral as a moment in time.
'Everything is Obvious [*Once You Know the Answer]:
How Common Sense Fails' by Duncan Watts
Chapter 5: History, the Fickle Teacher
Within the narrow confines of a movie narrative, it seems obvious the right time to evaluate everything should be at the end. But in real life, the situation is far more ambiguous. Just as the characters in a story don't know when the ending is, we don't know when the movie of our own life will reach its final scene. And even if we did, we could hardly go around evaluating all choices, however trivial, in light of our final state on our deathbed. In fact, even then we couldn't be sure of the meaning of what we accomplished...
In reality, the events that we label as outcomes are never really endpoints. Instead, they are artificially imposed milestones, just as the ending of a movie is really an artificial end to what in reality is an ongoing story. And depending on where we choose to impose an "end" to a process, we may infer very different lessons from the outcome.
Linklater offers this epiphany on his process, "I guess the key thing is to still think it's worth it". A friend recently remarked as we evaluated the intervening decade since we'd known each other - "As long as you're happy today, you'll have no regrets about your past because everything was leading up to this point".
Fin
I wrote a piece roughly this time last year in anticipation for Richard Linklater's third installment of the 'Before...' trilogy. 'Before Midnight' premiered at the last Sydney Film Festival, Linklater's latest feature 'Boyhood' will have its debut for this year's program.
I still recall the moment I heard about 'Boyhood'. I was on a train reading Film industry news from some Sydney street press, they announced a Richard Linklater project where he'd enlisted Ethan Hawke and a young boy to film over several years in real time. A piece of cinematic fiction in the vein of the 'Up' documentary series. This was in the early 2000s I had not yet stumbled on 'Before Sunrise' thus this predated my adoration of Linklater.
VIDEO: The long conversation - Richard Linklater on cinema and time
RICHARD LINKLATER: Time is a really powerful factor but it is in all of our lives... I think it's more the perception. How your brain perceives and unfolds through a day and just the perception of an event is so human whether you're in a waking or dream state
Richard Linklater's art is distinct for me in that his work speaks for itself. He handles what it is to be human and the existential baggage that comes with it so deftly that further analysis or supplementation only muddles the ideas. His view of the world as mirrored in his interviews and the manner of speaking in his films is what I love about the podcast format. The honesty, investigation and connection found in my favorite podcasts (YMIW with Pete Holmes and WTF with Marc Maron) had been satiated years before in the conversation found in Linklater's ouvre. I explained in length how Linklater appeals to me in a radio conversation about his movie 'Waking Life' - Talking 'Waking Life' and existentialism
Unlike 'Before Midnight', I've watched the trailer and am not averse to reading up on 'Boyhood' prior to the screening. 'Boyhood' premieres at the State Theatre, Friday June 6, 8:30pm. It will be showing again Saturday June 7 at 11:30am as part of the Sydney Film Festival Program.
Richard Linklater: About Time... trains and dreams
I grew up playing Videogames but have not played obsessively for close to a decade. The last game I recall being committed to was 'Super Mario Sunshine' (2002) for the Nintendo Gamecube. In the intervening years games have developed more realistic graphics and incorporated more engaging, moralistic narratives. With the online component and achievement building of personas and worlds in Games like 'Minecraft' and 'Second Life' there's a whole universe of Gaming I'm unfamiliar with.
Several of my friends are gamers and I'm often tantalized by their gaming conversations. I've never revisited gaming as I like to manage my "time sucks" which I know Gaming would be. Instead I just ask a lot of questions, consume shows like 'Good Game' or 'The Indoor Kids' and watch IGN Video Game Reviews.
A good friend told me that he found watching Video Game Walkthroughs a satisfying replacement to actually playing Videogames. He could engage with the emotion by being alongside the Player without having to expend as much mental energy and stress. I found this amusing at first but realised that a lot of our entertainment is passive anyway. We watch Sports without playing and enjoy Cooking shows without picking up a utensil or sampling the meal. This is what cinema is built on.
The thing that's different with Playthroughs is that Videogames are already one level removed from reality, so observing someone playing is two levels removed from the actual experience.
VIDEO: The Last Of Us Gameplay Walkthrough Playthrough (Full game)
I started wondering how a Playthrough of life might look like and how appealing that would be. The closest I could come up with was the Documentary format, then I remembered 'Review with Myles Barlow', a satirical black comedy about a critic who reviews life experiences in response to viewer questions. The Australian show has since been adapted for American audiences by Andy Daly, 'Review with Forrest MacNeil'.
VIDEO: Review - Life as a Thief
A friend of mine recently Facebook posted that her Eevee evolving into Sylveon (Pokemon XY for Nintendo 3DS) was her "proudest achievement so far this year" which was met by congratulations all around. She remarked astutely "It's all the same to the reward centre of my brain".
Pete Holmes in conversation with Ben Schwartz discuss Happiness and how trolls and haters fit into the equation.
You Made it Weird with Pete Holmes: #198 Ben Schwartz
BEN SCHWARTZ: (28m 40s) I would want to make everybody happy. As I got older you realise it would waste your whole life to try to get people to love, you just want people to be happy, not everybody's going to like your sh*t and not everybody is going to think you're good and by the way you may not be good in their eyes... Not to be egotistical about it and let it slide. The more you get hit by it, the more you fail, the more you get hurt by stuff like that the easier it is to learn to let it go
PETE HOLMES: But its also, your interpretation of happiness is you and that person getting along...
SCHWARTZ: Yes which is - Great call!
HOLMES: - which isn't true
SCHWARTZ: That's not true, you're absolutely correct. That's not the way to live anybody's life. A random person I don't know
HOLMES: ... It's manipulative for me to try and make everyone like me... Some people hate what you love that's just how it is... Maybe their happiness is hating you. I'm not saying they shouldn't be saying racist things on YouTube. I'm also not saying that's their higher self being filled with hate and spewing darkness. I don't think that's good. Maybe you're not for them and that's OK.
The comedians inject Bill Waterson's ('Calvin and Hobbes' creator) quote about happiness into the conversation. It's not the first time the quote has come up on Pete Holmes' podcast, ambition and the drive of an artist are recurring themes on the show.
Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it's to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential — as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth.
You'll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them.
To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.
- Bill Waterson
The Zen Pencils' comic illustrating the Waterson quote also gets a repeat mention. Fittingly Zen Pencils is currently presenting an original multi-part story commenting on the tension between Creators and Haters. Find them here:
- 144. The Artist-Troll War 1: HATRED BREEDS HATRED
- 145. The Artist-Troll War Part 2: NEGATIVITY DESTROYS ALL
- 146. The Artist-Troll War 3: CREATORS > HATERS
You know the random things you collect in life that have no monetary value but worth the world in sentimental meaning? Scribbled notes, containers to things long depleted and tickets to events come and gone. When you're on the road you tend to collect more of those things.
I met a German artist at the start of my EuroTrip at a Gallery opening in Venice. Fast Forward 10 months later, I got to crash at his gallery over Christmas and decorate my bedroom. It was a tribute to the people and moments that defined my trip.
Director and tastemaker Spike Jonze is getting plenty of press for his new movie 'Her'. A new age love story that asks questions about "real love" in the digital age. In an interview with James Bell for 'Sight & Sound' (Jan 2014) magazine, Spike explains that on the one hand we as humans are afraid of not connecting but afraid of connecting also. Afraid of not being seen but afraid of being seen.
This touches on a similar theme comedian Pete Holmes discusses with guest Harland Williams on his 'You Made it Weird' podcast.
You Made it Weird with Pete Holmes: #127 Harland Williams HARLAND WILLIAMS: (27m 45s) Let me ask you this? Maybe people have shifted their focus from - I don't think people on a daily basis think about rocks and twigs but maybe people have injected a little bit of their souls into their cellphones and their computers because all these things become very personal now.
I've literally gone out to lunch with my cellphone instead of calling a friend because I want to be with my cellphone and I want to read USA Today, I want to play a game. I want to spend time with my cellphone, so maybe inadvertently we've shifted some of our soul into these belongings but its sad because its not real. They're not part of the earth.
PETE HOLMES: Its a synthetic. We're mainlining a fake type of social [interaction]- but its better. It feels better, like a drug. Like a synthetic drug. It feels better than actually conversing with somebody because you can control it. Its a little bit more private. You read your tweets, you look at your Instagram, you look at your Facebook, you play a game, you read your—Its all very controlled.
Whereas when I'm talking to you, I can offend you...
'Let's Get Real' podcast - Episode 7: Losing Yourself
Its interesting listening back to the expectations had before a trip. My 7th conversation occurred a week before my 6 month jaunt around South America. It was also recorded after a particularly colorful evening that doubled as a farewell celebration. The unforgettable night reminded me of the "Elysium Intentional Community" featured in David Wain's 'Wanderlust' (2012). Naked people frolicking, outdoor bathtubs in the rain with a warehouse rave in between. "It was quite a trip".
VIDEO: 'Wanderlust' (2012)
These festivities provided a great leadup as it made experimentation less urgent for my trip. Its true that if one seeks Drug Tourism in South America, it can be found. In some places its common to see locals indulge in the lifestyle, in other places "plant medicines" are linked to the indigenous heritage. More often than not I found locals who resisted drugs of any form and lamented the shallow impression foreigners were being exposed to.
Practising phrases in Spanish Class English: Where are you going tomorrow? I need to relax all day for the ceremony.
In Ecuador I had an opportunity to go on a Sacred Medicine Journey with the San Pedro Cactus. Whilst waiting for the weekend ceremony I did a homestay with a Spanish Teacher. She gave me an insight into how the Economy of the neighboring town was skewed by Cocaine traffickers. My Ceremony never transpired, at first it was postponed then cancelled altogether as the shaman was worried about a "negative energy in the air". I was at peace with her decision. I'd spent time with a disproportionate amount of Conspiracy Theorists in Ecuador, I was aware of how precarious reality could be and was not going to risk it if conditions weren't right.
The Shaman educates visitors of their traditional culture and
the unique process of what he does
My only contact with Ayahuasca besides the countless conversations about it was in the Amazonas of Ecuador. We were able to ask questions of a Shaman who regularly took the plant to diagnose and assist his patients. Interestingly the motorista of our boat was the Shaman's brother, their departed father was considered one of the tribe's best shamans. They were following in his footsteps.
Our motorista and the Shaman's brother
Our motorista who began consuming Ayahuasca at the age of 14 gave up this path to be with his love, a Christian tribemate who didn't approve of the tradition. It highlighted the tussle between indigenous tradition and modernism coupled with foreign influence.
